Home Court Advantage

Priests are always telling us that churches are God’s house. I thought I’d like to know what God himself felt about that, so I asked. He told me that he didn’t care to hang out in churches much when services were taking place. The thing about mass and other services is that they’re designed to get God’s attention. They get everybody praying together and concentrating on the same things, and it works just like they want it to, it acts like a megaphone. So if God’s there, well imagine walking up to someone who has perfectly good hearing, whipping out a bull horn and shouting through it into their ear, that’s what going to a church service is like for God.

On the other hand, he likes to go when one or two people are there alone. A lot of people are just whiners and brown nosers,, so it isn’t always worth while, but also, a lot of people really only go to church outside of services if they really need something.

So does that mean that God goes there looking for worthy prayers to answer?

No.

He’s still not much into directly answering prayers these days, but seeing who asks for what and what they’re reasons are, really helps him to decide what happens to their soul when they die. On the other hand, he points out that he gets that from us wherever we are. There’s nothing special about churches.

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