It was time, as such things go, for me to ask God directly about homosexuality. Obviously she can’t be all just fire and brimstone about it, because she comes and talks to me every day. Of course, she could have been playing the same game as me, she could have been just biding her time, trying to establish a good rapport and friendly relationship before coming down on me like a pile of bricks, but if that was the case, well it was time for me to blink first.

So, now that I’ve mangled enough metaphoric cliches, let’s get on to how she responded.

She asked me why I thought she had something against homosexuality. I pointed out that fundamental Christians and Muslims alike have been making a big stink about being queer for longer than we’ve had a rights movement and that the last couple of decades they’ve been particularly vehement about it. Perhaps the most egregious example is the infamous Reverend Phelps who pickets the funerals of AIDS victims with signs that say things like “God Hates Fags.”

Well, she asked me a couple more leading questions until we got around to the point that what most of these fundamental types use as the basis for their particular line of vitriol is the passage in the Bible, Leviticus 18:22, which reads, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” She had me skip ahead a little, to Leviticus 20:9, that one reads, “For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death.” She sent me there to make two points. The first was that these modern Pharisees are pretty brazen about picking and choosing which Biblical passages they want to enforce. The second was that while a lot of Leviticus stands on it’s own and makes sense in the context of any system of justice, an awful lot of it is just absurd to anyone with an even vaguely modern set of sensibilities.

Frankly she’s appalled that anyone looks at Leviticus as anything other than an historical curiosity. And she’s always been considerably pissed that anyone believes that she had anything to do with writing it. She told me we should get something of a hint from the fact that the name “Leviticus” has a passing similarity to the name “Lucifer.”

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1 Comment

Comment by BobGod
On February 26, 2007 at 4:32 pm

There’s only one response to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8i4le0BIFc

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