How Low Can You Go

So after a lot of advance warning and minor speculation, the Catholic Church has published a report that says they will no longer teach about the existence of Limbo, which they point out was never an official church doctrine anyway. I haven’t taken the time to read the forty-one page document, “The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptised,” that was released on Friday, but it’s been widely reported that this is the final death knell for Limbo, which was dropped from the official catechism in 1992.

Naturally, I asked God how things were going in Heaven right now, what with the influx of eight hundred years of dead babies. Not surprisingly he said that babies don’t come or go from Heaven on the say of the Catholic Church. Really, he said, the Catholic church, like all religions, is fighting a losing battle in trying to understand the nature of Heaven.

Heaven is just not something that the human mind is capable of imagining. We can come up with all kinds of mnemonic devices to try and comprehend it, everything from being served by seventy-two virgins, to it being a bar where the band always plays our favorite song, but it’s a little like asking your pet dog to understand the inner workings of a nuclear power plant. You can take your dog to all the lectures on the fundamentals of fission that you want but it’s still not even going to know what a light switch does.

So go ahead and go to church if you want, but don’t spend too much time worrying if there’s enough baby sitters in Heaven.

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