It’s a Dead Man’s Party
Here it is, Good Friday. The day that Christians commemorate the killing of Jesus Christ, celebrating the forgiveness of Original Sin that his selfless death enabled.
So the rough timeline is that Jesus is killed on Good Friday, rises from the dead on Easter Sunday, and then wanders around for forty days before ascending to Heaven.
I was musing about that with God this week and we didn’t really see eye to eye. See to me, this makes Jesus the original zombie story. Now when you start talking to God about Zombie Jesus, he doesn’t tend to participate much in the conversation. I’d ask if Jesus turned a sort of greenish gray, and God wouldn’t answer. I’d ask if Jesus was a slow zombie, like in “Night of the Living Dead,” or a fast zombie like the recent “I Am Legend,” but God wouldn’t answer. I suppose it’s kind of tacky to ask a father about his son being a zombie, but I didn’t know anyone else that would have any inside info.
And one other thing that God wouldn’t comment on… Does a zombie craving brains have anything to do with the crown of thorns?
Midnight Mass was the same time as the Witching Hour. A dead man nailed to dead wood comes back to life.
Christianity looks like Necromancy to me.