Halloween is Coming

Through the millennia a lot of things have been offered up as “gifts” to God. Now of course when it comes to material things, well, what can you give to the one being that really does have everything? Well, nothing, but that’s never stopped people from trying.

The thing is that the people that are actually sincere about this, try to give God things that they value. There’s been a lot of money over the years, enough to make the Catholic Church one of the richest institutions on the planet. But there’s also been less materialistic things, like sacrificial virgins. God admits to there being a strong ick factor in things like dead virgins, or decapitated Mayan ball players (and people wonder why I don’t like sports), but she says it’s just something you grin and bear.

She told me that most gifts are given in good spirit but that they’re rather like when a small child holds out a piece of candy, covered in spit and clutched in their dirt encrusted hand, offering to share their bounty with you. You appreciate the offer, you want to nurture their generosity, but really, you’d rather the thought just hadn’t occurred to them.

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