Training Myself

I ride the train to and from work every day, well, not every day, just weekdays, or rather just weekdays that aren’t holidays. You probably knew that’s what I meant, but still, I like to say what I mean not just something close enough. I’ve been doing that, riding the train, for about five and a half months; ever since I moved to the Bay Area. In all that time I’ve been prepared to be productive, but I haven’t gotten around to actually being productive.

Until yesterday.

It was just a small thing. I switched apps in my tablet, went away from reading the morning’s news for a few minutes and made some notes on a project I’m developing. I’ve been sort of productive plenty of times. I’ve read work-related email. I’ve read computer books, but both of those things while important to my ability to produce are in and of themselves consumptive, rather than productive. There’ve been two impediments that have kept me from being productive until now. The first is that I’m often standing, although that’s mostly on the way home, not on the way in. The second though is the more relevant excuse; the second is that I’m just not very comfortable in crowds of people that I don’t know.

So I’m not sure if it’s a sign that I’m getting more comfortable with the crowds on the train, or if it’s just that this particular project was strong enough in my mind to cut through the chatter and get me to take notes. Assuming it might be the former, I waited for a good opportunity to bring it up when talking with God. I was all keen to brag to him about the little bit of progress I had made. My chance came up and I told him. He told me that was great, that if I kept up this rate of progress I could have the whole project specced out in a decade or two. Sometimes I get the impression that God has bigger things on his mind than my petty little foibles.

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