Sock it to Me

Today’s message from God: Matching socks make the world a little more boring.

Boring is bad. In extreme cases it kills. If you’ve ever driven the I-5 from Bakersfield to Sacramento, you should know what I mean. This is a stretch of road that practically defines monotony, running mostly straight as an arrow through flat farmland. It’s no wonder people fall asleep at the wheel.

But I digress. And did you ever notice that the word “monotony” itself is kind of monotonous? What with that “every other letter is an ‘O'” thing going on. But I digress again.

Back on message: God and I would like to encourage everyone to put some more diversity into your wardrobe. Sure as kids we boys were harshly taught, through laughter and derision, that deviating from prescribed wardrobes was social suicide, but we can rise beyond our programming. I’m not asking you to put on a hand selected cacophony of divergent styles and colors worthy of a clown (not that there’s anything wrong with that), just take a small step; wear that silly hat you bought on a whim at Disneyland, buy a new Hawaiian shirt, or just wear mismatched socks. It’s not just good for you, it’s good for all of us.

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