Smooth Move
I’ve taken to stroking my computer throughout the day at work.
There’s a good reason. No, really.
See I’m using a laptop running Apple’s latest version of Mac OS X, Lion. With the large trackpad and the gestures that Lion recognizes I haven’t felt a need to hook up a mouse. Now besides gestures one of the things that Apple is good at is battery management. I know I can adjust some of the settings for this but so far I haven’t felt a compelling need. So part of the battery management is that on a fairly aggressive schedule the MacBook decides to dim it’s screen, aggressive enough that I’m often still reading something on the screen or pondering some bit of code on the screen, so I don’t want it dimmed. In a mouse-driven environment I’d reach out and jiggle the mouse to return the screen to full brightness. In a trackpad-centric world I reach out and slide my fingers across the trackpad. A move that really is no different than reaching out to stroke the computer, and made all the more enjoyable by the smoothness of Apple’s trackpads.
For all my life cats have trained me that if they stick the top of their head at me, I’m supposed to pet it, to stroke it. Now my computer has found a way to induce the same thing. I asked God if it’s part of Apple’s plan to get us to love our computers by getting us to anthropomorphize them or to treat them like pets. He told me that just because I love my computer doesn’t mean it’s part of some nefarious plan by the computer industry to prepare us to love our new robotic overlords even before they arrive.
And then he told me that people masturbating while looking at pictures on their computers is not them having sex with the machines. I was about to ask him what made him jump to that thought, but then I thought, what if he tells me?
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