How About Freshly Ground Pepper?

Let me just take a moment to say to all those “modern” fast food franchises out there, “stop it.”

Stop trying to make me the chef.

I don’t know about other parts of the world, but here in the U.S. one of the growing trends in fast food is to make every meal personalized. You run into this at Togo’s and Chipotle’s and at Subway, the joint with the most locations in the country. You can’t just order number 12 or the pastrami sandwich or anything so simple. You have to specify each little thing you want. “Great, you want the pastrami! Would you like lettuce on that? How about onions? What condiments do you want?” It’s the worst at Chipotle. You not only have to specify every little thing, but they pass you down an assortment of stations, so you can’t even memorize an order and rattle it off, you have to talk to three different people even though you’re only traveling five feet.

I read an article this week that says that half of people are introverts and half are extroverts. I don’t know if that split is correct or not but I’m definitely one of the introverts. It taxes me to carry on this charade of a conversation. I don’t mind if the menu lets you “build your own burger,” that’s great for those high maintenance orderers out there, but it’s a pain to me, so don’t make it the only option on the menu. Give me something that I can order in as few syllables as possible and I’ll come back more often. That’s one of the reasons I go to fast food in the first place, no waiter or waitress coming around to check up on me.

I don’t need a lot of interaction. Somedays God and I just sit around on the couch and barely more than grunt at each other. They call it parallel play when toddlers do it, for adults it’s just “comfortable companionship.” And besides, isn’t it the chef’s job to figure out what should go on what? Stop trying to make me do your job.

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