Detachable Envy

Perseus famously encountered three old women who had one eye that they shared, trading it amongst themselves so that they all had use of it at least part of the time. While not as common as stories of captured princesses or of shapeshifters up to no good, the idea of trading body parts comes up in human literature from time to time.

God commented on this the other day and he wanted to know if I had any insights to offer. Is it simply due to our fears of losing body parts in injuries, or is their some other dynamic going on? Maybe these are just morality tales intended to teach us that we should always be willing to share with those less fortunate than ourselves.

We bandied about some serious ideas for awhile, things like the notion that trading eyeballs is the fantasy equivalent of bionics, then we went for the more frivolous by suggesting artificial legs and arms are just the first steps on the slippery slope to Star Trek’s Borg. Finally I turned to song. I played two songs from my collection for God to listen to.

The first song, “Detachable Penis” by King Missile talks about how handy it is to have a detachable penis, but also complains that sometimes it gets lost and the singer feels like less of a man until he can find it again. The second song, “Penis Envy” by Uncle Bonsai is a woman’s tale of all the things she would do if she had a penis. She sings about how pants would seem tighter, how she’d have something to play with when alone, how she could stuff it into a whole host of unlikely places.

If we could just get these two musical acts together, think what a glorious new myth could come out of it!

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1 Comment

On July 21, 2012 at 11:06 pm

I was just playing Penis Envy for a friend and shareed this article with him. I hope he comes to enjoy these posts too.


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