Archive for April, 2014

Call Me Fish Meal

Friday, April 25th, 2014

I went to see the new Disney movie “Bears” this week. The next day, for lunch, I made sure I went to someplace where I could order salmon, though unlike the stars of the movie, I got mine cooked.

God says it was a very Pavlovian response. I say I was just looking for some thematic unity in my week.

Gods on Film

Friday, April 18th, 2014

I went to the movies this week, like I do very nearly every week. The thing that kind of surprised me this time was that in my local multiplex there were three different Christian movies playing. There was “Son of God,” yet another film depicting the life of Christ, “Noah,” which is more of a straight fantasy than a Biblical study, and “Heaven is Real,” which appears to be trying to convince us of its own title.

I know it’s almost Easter, but still this seemed a little heavy handed. So of course I asked God what was up.

He told me that it’s just the latest salvo in the war on Christianity in this country, we’re oppressing them by making them have to choose which pro-Christ film to go see. I mean we all know how much staunch Christians hate having to think for themselves.

For God and Country

Friday, April 4th, 2014

God was complaining to me about how many countries seem to think that he’s specifically on their side. It’s bad enough that every religion, and especially the splinters of religions, is sure that they have the one true answer about who God is, what God likes and doesn’t like, and what God expects us to do or not do, but to have whole countries thinking that God will save them from their own stupidity is apparently beyond all reason.

Myself, I think he had rather more emotional reasons for his complaints than logical ones, I think it’s just that God hates flags.