Archive for September, 2014

Disk-O-Maniac

Friday, September 26th, 2014

I spent most of this week at work cleaning up other people’s messes. In a way I mean that both figuratively and literally, in that the messes were more virtual than physical, being messes of the bytes inside of computers.

I asked God why it was that he let people come into my systems and break stuff. He said it was his way of keeping me humble. I told him I thought I was humble enough, but he just grinned and said that was my ego telling me that.

Bar Joke

Friday, September 19th, 2014

God and Jesus walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the two of them and then asks, “Where’s the Holy Spirit?”

God says, “That bottle in your hand will have to do.”

Jesus says, “I’ll just have a glass of water.”

In The Woods

Friday, September 12th, 2014

Last week I went camping. It’s kind of nice to be able to sit out with God, poking at the campfire after everyone else has gone to bed. He likes it too, because it gives him a chance to show off the Milky Way, which he doesn’t much get to do in the city.

I got to add a new carnivore to my seen-in-the-wild list, a fox. I’m not sure I even knew we had foxes here in California, but there he was, so now I know.

Also, we all know what a bear does in the woods. I can now also tell you what they don’t do. They don’t chew their food properly, and trust me it’s not a pretty thing to find out.

Basket Cases

Friday, September 5th, 2014

I bought a new laundry basket. I know that doesn’t sound like much but I did it without doing any comparison shopping or research. Okay, I bought it from a store whose stocking judgement I trust, but still.

See, for the last several years, that’s right, years, I’ve just been putting my dirty clothes into a pile on the floor until I had enough clothes and time to do a load. When I think back on it, the last time I bought a laundry basket was when I lived in an apartment where I had to go outside and wind my way through the buildings to get to the laundry room. So that sort of counts as buying one under duress. This time I bought it just to make my space a little bit neater, a little bit tidier.

It’s not the money. I spent less on the basket than most lunches cost me these days. It’s that I bought something that is to have semi-permanence in my home, something with which I will interact on a daily basis, and I didn’t make sure that I was getting the best fit for my sensibilities, my lifestyle, and my budget. I’d say it was almost impulsive, except that I bought it at a store where I shop every couple of weeks and twice I almost bought it, picked it up and held it but then put it back, before finally taking it on the third trip.

God says he was the same way when he wanted to put some in-his-imageness out there. There were all these good choices available, chimps, raccoons, bears, but he finally got tired of not committing and didn’t feel like looking at all the possible futures, so when Adam and Eve came along he zapped them. Pretty soon we were hunting and gathering and talking up a storm. And needing laundry baskets.