Just Eat It

I watch the squirrels in my backyard run around and dig up food that they buried a while ago and happily munch on it. Then I think about how many people agonize over whether or not they can invoke “the five second rule” when they accidentally drop a piece of bread on the kitchen floor.

They agonize over how long it’s been since they did a thorough mopping of the floor. They gauge how dry the bread is. They wonder if anybody has sneezed in the house in the last week.

God says we’re wimps. She says that affectionately, but that doesn’t lessen the truth of it. She does admit that it’s not entirely our fault and when I pressed her on the issue she also said it kind of works to her advantage. She says a lot of the prayers she gets credit for answering are really just cases of hypochondria. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, I suppose it’s neither.

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